River Screamed
by negitori
Summary: A seemingly simple sound sets off the crew.


River screamed,

Loud and high-pitched.

It shook the ship.

Bow to Stern.

Bridge to Mess.

Ear to Ear.

Simon heard it first. He had been dreaming about Kaylee's and sunshine. She was teasing him with strawberries. Then it all seemed to warp into a black hole when the thrashing grew too loud to be ignored in the next room.

It reminded him of all the patients he ever helped.

The girl who named her hamster after him. She screamed. A little quite squealing at all the blood and lost feeling.

A woman giving birth and couldn't handle the pain. Swears and screams filled the room as a new life was brought into the chaos the black maintained.

A man who saw his son's death in front of him. A low hollow echo of a young life destroyed.

_A young life destroyed._

Destroyed all his possible futures for River's screams and terrifying mood swings.

He wouldn't have it any other way.

Book shook awake and jumped from his bed. The Bible had been comforting him to an always uneasy sleep when the noise struck inside his head.

He could fill many books on what that scream reminded him of.

Thousands of pages of people who became a brief existence in the 'verse.

Even more words of gore and blood than he ever admit.

How many pages of the scream he created?

The words would fill the ship. So he held them close inside under his cross.

He wiped the tears from his eyes.

He was going to have to pay for those screams one way or another.

He pulled the Bible closer and began reading again.

Begged of forgiveness in all shapes and forms.

Jayne fell out of his bed with a dull thunk. He cursed the moonbrain for waking him up.

Not fair that he can't sleep jus' cos' she had some bad stuff done to her.

He hated those screams. Memories of his childhood haunted them.

He sat on the floor and pushed his head to his knees.

Mattie was young when he got sick. The fever caused him to hallucinate and fidget.

Mattie would scream bloody murder

Then Mattie told Jayne his dreams about blood. Told Jayne that his was going to drowned in the blood.

_Whose blood Mattie?_

And Mattie never told.

Drowning in blood is somethn' awful to do. The metallic smelll would fill his nose. Stain his face. Dry under his nails. Wet his hair. Clog his ears.

And Jayne would hear no more. The end of the screams and torment of his old victims and people he barely knew would end.

The Mudder teen wouldn't haunt him anymore. They would let him sleep. They screams would stop haunting him.

He hoped. The tears silently streaming down his face hoped.

Wash's breath choked in his throat. He almost suffocated under the fear from the scream.

Zoe would die and he would be alone. Dreams like those chased away the ones juggling goose and red dinosaurs.

Wash didn't want to be alone. He hated being alone. Alone in the black and Serenity would not comfort him.

He tugged her closer just to make sure she was there. Her mass of curls swarmed his face and he took in her sent.

Because it might be the last time. She might not come back from a job and he would be alone.

But not right now. He pushed the thoughts away as best as he might. And pulled into her curves and tried to sleep.

Kaylee woke and looked thoughtfully to the door.

_Poor River._

Kaylee wondered about the people who did this to her. Did they know what they were doing?

What they had done? She's just a little girl.

"_She's just a little girl."_

Her mother screamed. And yelled, then she cried. Her mother wanted Kaylee to stay home.

Her only daughter was going to off on a beat up ol' Firefly and leave Atmo for maybe forever.

But Kaylee would never be the daughter her Ma wanted. Sure her Ma loved her and a girl handy with a wrench was useful. But Kaylee would look awful fancy in a pretty dress. Nice jewelry.

Mechanics didn't wear dresses. Or jewelry. Kaylee's Father knew that. So he let her go.

So she could run into the stars and fix a big ol' ship up right nice.

Still her mother screamed and hugged her close. Said she miss her and told her to behave.

River's scream made Kaylee feel a whole lotta homesick.

Zoe's eyes widened.

They screamed.

Men fell and howled in pain. Letting go of the tears for comrades they saw in their own pain.

They fell and died for a "lost cause".

But it would never be lost. Browncoats will fight again.

She knew she would fight again. That's who she fought every time she picked up a gun. She thought herself shooting down a man of the Core.

For all those that screamed and fell beside her. Leaving a chilling emptiness in the barracks and smileless faces after a minor victory. Left blood on her hands when she tried to stop the bleeding. She suppressed a shiver.

Zoe served her time. She saw the men die. She didn't want to see death anymore. The faces of agony and pain.

Wash tugged her close and breathed in comfort.

Thoughts of death were chased away as she settled her back against his chest.

Wash was chasing her nightmares away again. He had a knack for doing that.

She took a breath and let the men fall from her thoughts for the moment and fell asleep in Wash's arms.

Malcolm was already awake when he heard the scream.

Lying in bed with the covers strewn everywhere.

He swallowed hard as voices and faces of soldiers filled his head.

He made new curses for the Alliance bastards. While his head rested on the pillows and the soldiers rested in their graves on Serenity Valley.

He thought them lucky. Lucky to die in battle and not have to live through Unification Day and the new Alliance run world after.

Then again he wished them alive just to see them live.

Every last man followed his orders. And they died for it.

Now he hesitates every time he gives and order on the ship. This isn't the war and he knows that. It isn't as dangerous. Not nearly so many perils.

But he can't help to wonder if the next order he gives will get them all killed.

He rolled over and thought about how useless this was. The war was over. He should let it die. Move on. Remember but never forget because he couldn't forgive.

Inara stopped sobbing.

River's scream echoed in the small shuttle.

River scream began foaming up memories of Inara's life. A life before Serenity.

Inara had only been a companion for a awhile. Yet she had a regular customer very soon.

He would visit and she would entertain him. A year after they met he came for a surprise visit. He wasn't in her schedule but she wasn't busy. So she entertained him.

But when a customer is unscheduled usually a Companion does not sleep with them. She might not have taken her shots lately. Shots that would discourage any lingering consequences of sex. Something like child birth.

But he was a regular and loyal customer. She could not refuse him.

When she realized she was pregnant she consulted her Mistress immediately and made her decision to keep the child.

As the Guild would allow it to be born as a service to the Customer if the they would allow it.

She consulted with the Customer would allow it but no relation to him was made of custody. Inara was fine with that as she wanted to keep the baby girl.

Yet she did not consult fate, as when the child was born it was a stillbirth.

Inara sobbed for her lost child. And wondered what would have happened to the baby.

And River screamed for all the times she didn't, when they didn't and when they did.

Tears rolled off to the pillow, breath left her lungs, she tried to hold it in but the dam burst. It always did. So she screamed. Let Simon comfort her. When back to bed but didn't sleep. She waited, until the next scream would build. The wave would strike and escape her lips. And it would start again.


End file.
